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  • Writer's pictureMelissa de Jong

Imposed Identities- the chains we don't see

Updated: Sep 15, 2023

I remember sitting cross-legged on the basket-ball court at PE, I was 13, and all I could think about was how my thighs had lines and bumps on them that I didn’t see on other’s girl’s legs. I am still gripped by woman’s legs, I can’t help myself. If I know you, or even if I don’t, I’ve checked out your legs and lamented over how gorgeous they are compared to my own.


I remember being asked to be hair model once, and my mom asking if my weight would be a problem. I remember wearing sweatshirts every day in middle school no matter how hot it was, just to try and shrink away and not be seen. I remember having to change in front of everyone for PE and just trying to be quick and calm, to make myself invisible. It seemed like yonks that my mother fed me a ½ cup of brown rice, broccoli with margarine spray and dry BBQ chicken breast (because of it’s lack of fat and BBQing had less oil then pan-frying). I remember being embarrassed to put too much food on the plate at family events for the fear of being judged. I was even embarrassed to be seen eating!


I remember my mom coming to me and telling me my step-dad agreed to buy me a whole new wardrobe of clothes if I lost weight, I was 15. I remember my mother constantly dieting, constantly working out, she even became a fitness instructor. Imagine that, the fitness instructor with a fat daughter, the perfect Irony. My mother was always eating flavourless food, or food that was full of chemicals. I can see that gold can, with red, black, and white writing, sitting on the kitchen counter-top, piled on top of one another in the blue recycling bin. I swear that caffeine-free diet coke killed her.


Watching my mother, it seemed like a person’s worth was directly related to how skinny they were. In my eyes, it seemed like my weight defined me. I was consumed with thoughts of how my displeasing figure kept me separate from everyone else. The disconnect I felt from my peers was a valley between mountains. The other thoughts that consumed me were to be a good girl, get good grades, and all about the boys. OH the BOYS! It was painful knowing they would never crush on me the way I crushed on them.


Being smothered by this identity left little room to see who I really was. It left very little light for others to see. It was safer to be unseen and unheard. It wasn’t safe to have an unpopular opinion, or risk saying anything to make that valley any bigger. So I looked for myself in others. I looked to chameleon right into whatever group extended a lifeline for me. The fear of further rejection or isolation left zero space to figure out who I was.


You may also feel as though you are being smothered by an identity that no longer feels like it fits you. The good wife, the good daughter, the good sister, the perfect mother, the helper, the over-achiever, the one who as it all together, the skinny girl, the tall girl, the big girl, the ugly one, the pretty one, the poor one, the rich one, the talented one, the odd one, the lost one, the dumb one. Any of these imposed identities and so many more can pull you right out of alignment. We all have a profound impact to make on this earth, each and every tiny little person has a purpose, to add to the experience of being human in a big way!


I am unrecognisable now! I have reinvented myself over and over until I have found what feels right. As I get older, and do the inner-work, the freedom I feel to just be me is sooooo tasty. I am The Empress. Being authentic has become so important to me, that at times it’s uncomfortable. I am still playing with the boundaries, saying too much, not saying anything. I am still trying to remember not to dim my light, which presents an extra challenge being an American in Australia (not a loud bunch in general!).


I am loudly promoting the spiritual healing that I am doing for myself and offering up for others. And we can’t be friends if you can’t at least take a peak at how you are the only one standing in the way of everything you desire. If you can’t hack the truth about your own BS, you’ll want nothing to do with me! I have gone very public in my small county town about being a Tarot reader, which is basically advertising that I am an intuitive channeler. And you know what?! I’m smashing it! Two fully booked out nights, amazing results for my clients, and many more booked out nights in the future!


It feels amazing to become the beacon of light that I am meant to be! To not give 2 shits about what people think because I know the truth. I know that my purpose here on earth comes from a long line of psychics and healers all the way back to Lemuria. I am a catalyst for enlightenment. I am here to raise the consciousness of the planet, one person at a time.


This is the work that is in alignment with my Divine Soul Blueprint. This is why I do the work in the Akashic Records. This is why I care so much about YOU knowing yourself deeply, and feeling empowered to roar your needs and wants! I want to help you understand that you deserve to be seen! You deserve to choose the life that YOU want. You deserve to be held and uplifted! You fucking deserve to feel good about yourself! I want you to taste what I’ve tasted, it’s sooooo delicious! I want to help you feel free in-yourself and to feel empowered to be YOU!

I don’t want you to shrink away, I don’t want you to be invisible. I don’t want you to feel embarrassed or ashamed for asking for what you deserve. I don’t want you to feel separate from the people around you, I want you to find the right people that accept you for exactly who you are! I want you to feel like you are worthy of the love you desire. You can still do the right thing and be a kind person and not worry about being “a good girl.” I don’t want you to dim your light, I want you to fine-tune your beacon and draw them to you like a sirens call!

And what happens when you are fully aligned and embodied into your Divine soul? Magic… all kinds of beautiful magic!


An abundance of love and amazing relationships are at the top of the list. Vibing with your partner like never before; having open and honest conversations, opening the door for mind blowing intimacy! Being able to be fully present for your children; allowing space for emotions, to be able to just hold them both emotionally and physically. Being able to hold space for all your loved ones so that they feel validated, supported, and unconditionally loved. Even the relationships with your co-workers are given the chance to function optimally. You find your soul sisters with your Divinely radiating energy. Your actual physical energy also improves, oh so much energy! Joy! An abundance of time! There is a weird phenomena around time when you are in alignment, all of a sudden, you feel as though you aren't deprived of it. An abundance of whatever you want, because YOU have the power to create the world around you.


Let me support you, let me show you who you are, and help you to own the right to take up as much space as you want around you. Let me help you love yourself for all the wonderful things that you already are, and show you the path of least resistance to becoming one with your Divinity.


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